I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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