I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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