come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
