i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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