Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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