margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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