Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
NoShamevember. You game?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How does one acquire holy water?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
