Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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