just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Someone signed my nipple.
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