just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
