Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
