went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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