I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
babies were throwing up all over the place
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf