umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?