It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it