I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".