Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
