you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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