I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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