he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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