how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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