I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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