I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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