I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
