I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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