You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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