Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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