Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I forgot how hot balto sounded
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
