cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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