I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He felt like a one man threesome
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
