i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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