He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
