Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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