Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Please, let me fuck your mom
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's like heaven, but drunker
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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