I just made out with a guy for $7.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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