yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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