Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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