he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
