I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We left the knife in your bed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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