You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
