whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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