So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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