i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my being single is dangerous.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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