I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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