If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
