He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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