I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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