I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
