we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
