actually, I'm a sock model
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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