the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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