guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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