All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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