there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
