I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
