You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I enjoy the company of your penis
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
