yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had sex on a roof
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
