Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
