eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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