So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
