he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
