paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
