some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
