I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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